Unfriended
All I did was simply “like” the status of a friend on a popular social network – that’s when the drama started. It had seemed harmless enough. The status was simply about the wonderful mercy of Jesus. How is it that within less than an hour I had been unfriended and hatefully trashed in a comment?
I had been rejected – again.
Rejection comes in all shapes and sizes. To some it may look like an ex-spouse or a missing parent. For others, it could be a promotion that went to someone else. To others, it could be a song that was wasn’t chosen, a book that wasn’t published, or even an award that wasn’t received. Or, it could even be the act of unfriending. Regardless of what form it takes, rejection hurts.
The thing about rejection is that it doesn’t just bring up the hurt for the rejection at hand. No, it brings up the memories of all the past hurts and builds on them, shouting to us that we are not worthy to be a family member, a friend, a spouse, an employee, and so on.
Maybe it is the familiarity of the feeling. I don’t know, but whatever it is, this particular event, as insignificant as it was, hurt and it caused me to pause and listen to past rejections support the allegation that I was not good enough – after all, I didn’t get elected student body president in the 7th grade, I didn’t go to college right out of high school like so many of my classmates had, in 2009 management didn’t feel I was the “right fit” for the promotion, and now THIS? Now, I have been unfriended?
It didn’t feel insignificant. In fact, it felt very significant. So, like most, I wallowed in self-pity for a while. That certainly didn’t help, so I turned to the source that always does – my bible.
Remember the story of Jacob and Rachel in Genesis 29? Jacob fell in love with the beautiful Rachel, but her father, Laban, would not allow Jacob to marry her. The only way he would agree is if Jacob worked for Laban for seven years. Jacob agreed. After seven years though, he was tricked into marrying Leah, Rachel’s sister. Furious, Jacob went to Laban and asked, “Why have you deceived me?” (vs. 25) And then he agreed to work for another seven years to marry Rachel.
Imagine the rejection – the pain this must have been for Leah. Here she was, the older sister that no one wanted. Her dad had to trick someone into marrying her and that still wasn’t good enough. Her new husband still wanted her sister instead.
So what did Leah do? How did she deal with this rejection?
Well, in the beginning she didn’t deal with it so well. In fact, she got into a child-bearing competition with her sister, but regardless of how many children she bore Jacob, his heart still belonged to Rachel. Finally though, Leah turned to her true source of acceptance and identity – God Almighty.
She began to praise and named her fourth son Judah, meaning praise. This baby’s name is very significant. The first three sons, she had named out of self-pity and rejection, but this child, she named praise because she had finally realized that the love and acceptance of her Heavenly Father was enough.
And what about the story of David in 1 Samuel 18? He was best friends with Jonathan, King Saul’s son, and the king was very fond of him as well, until… Yes, the story changed drastically after David became great in the eyes of the people. Saul became jealous and put out a hit on David’s life.
David went from being favored by the king to fleeing for his life – talk about rejection. How did David handle it?
Again, like Leah, not too well in the beginning. He wallowed in self-pity. Read many of the Psalms and you will see that David felt sorry for himself and cried. But, thank goodness, he realized the answer wasn’t in pity, it was in praise.
One of my favorite verses in the entire bible is when David cries out to God.
My God, my God, what have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out to you by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the one Israel praises. Psalm 22:1-3 NIV (emphasis mine)
He started out in self-pity but quickly changed his focus and began to praise God. He recognized that God was still sitting on the throne and worthy of praise regardless of circumstances.
And the same is still true today. Regardless of whether we are accepted or rejected by friends, family, employers, or others, GOD IS STILL GOD! He still sits on the throne and He is still worthy of praise!
In preparing the disciples, Jesus warned about rejection because He knew it was inevitable – they would be rejected. And this is what He told them (and us)…
If you’re not welcomed, leave town. Don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and move on. Luke 9:5 MSG
In other words, “If people reject you, shake it off and go on.”
So the next time that rejection tries to knock you down and tell you that you are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or even lovable, just lift up your hands and praise because GOD IS STILL GOD! He still sits on the throne and He is still worthy of praise!
